Read: John 4:5-42

I remember a situation in my former husband Jon’s parish in Montana where the daughter of a parishioner (P) got pregnant out of wedlock. Nobody said anything judgy to P’s face, but the pearl-clutching and cattiness abounded in conversations where she was not present. I remember being forced to listen to it from our church treasurer (D) one day when she was holding me hostage in her quilting studio while Jon was meeting with her husband elsewhere (I wish I was kidding), and it was taking all of my self-control not to respond with a remark like “how about saying ‘congratulations on your grandchild’ and shutting your mouth, D.” When P’s grandchild was eventually born, Jon caught fire for allowing the baby to be baptized in the church because the pearl clutchers were afraid that “people” would think we condoned premarital sex. Fifteen years later, I am *STILL* rolling my eyes over this.

This and other situations made me understand why the woman at the well was out there gathering water in the heat of the noontime sun. If the women of her village were anything like the pearl clutchers in Jon’s parish, I would not want to be around them either! What I have taken away from her encounter with Jesus is how he very patiently laid out that He knew everything about her, including her multiple husbands, and he still considered her worthy of His attention. It was scandalous for a man to be speaking to a woman one-on-one in those days, and Jesus risked it to have that conversation.

One of the things the pearl clutchers did was make me very aware of the messages that were being sent to the teenage girls in the parish, and I made a concerted effort to have a good rapport with them so that they would know that they had someone who was willing to listen to them. Asking them about what they were reading and going to their sporting events meant that they started talking to me about their lives, and some of the resulting conversations were ones that they really did need to have with a trusted adult. Making the effort to know them and listen to them ended up being life-changing for them and for me.

God, we thank you for opportunities to listen without judgment and for people who make us feel safe. Amen.
-Jen McCabe