Read: John 11:1-45

Like Jesus, I am now well acquainted with grief.

In January, I lost my dearest friend from college, a lovely, vibrant soul who walked beside me for 48 years through all of life’s challenges and joys. The two weeks before she left us were spent in a Boston ICU, “touch and go” as her long-time partner framed it (she had been suffering for the last four years from a debilitating disease). The Thursday before she died, she texted that she was feeling better and on the mend. I wrote back, “You gave us such a scare! Keep sending good news!” On Saturday morning, her body gave out. It was not the text I was expecting when her sister relayed the news. It can’t be, I thought. Not Amy.

It’s now two months later, and I’ve run the gamut of grief. I wrote her obituary at her family’s request. I’ve attended two memorial services, one at the Unitarian Universalist church in her hometown of Rockford, Illinois, and another, a cocktail party “Amy-style” in Boston, where she had lived since college. I’ve been surrounded by her family and mutual friends and enjoyed wonderful fellowship and conversation.

And I’ve cried. Crying comes easily to me as an emotive (I’m using the word as a noun here, not as an adjective). Perhaps it’s because I’m Irish. Or the daughter of an author. A poet and author herself. Perhaps it’s because I see things deeply and feel things even deeper. Or maybe my eyes are just always ready to tear. It really doesn’t matter why. I just do. Cry easily.

When I am mourning, I need time alone. In a garden. By the ocean. Listening to music. Reading poetry. Also appreciated is a loving arm around my shoulders, a touch, a nod, a word.

But how would you know this if I didn’t share it with you?

What do you need when you mourn? Will you tell me so that I can sit with you? Talk with you? Pray with you? Cry with you?

Dear Lord, in our grief, we look to you for your Revelation promise: He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be with them; He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things will have passed away. —Rev. 21:1-4 Until then, help us to help one another as we navigate not only the joys of our lives, but also our sorrows. Amen.
-Ashley Sweeney